As the holidays approach, we find ourselves thinking about the change and challenges of the year, and remembering friends and family that are no longer with us. Reflecting on 2016, Firewood’s biggest change was growth. New clients and more work meant hiring more employees. And with that brought many new faces and friends.
Early in 2016 the creative department at Post Street consisted of about five people and a handful of freelancers. Late in January, a young designer named Cathleen Nilles was thrown into our mixed bag of creatives. She was fresh out of college and was excited to start off her career at Firewood.
Monday February 29th, Cathleen went home with a headache. And died on Wednesday, March 2nd. She had Loeys–Dietz syndrome (LDS).
Firewood Marketing was stunned. The small group of people who made up the 251 Post Street office were mortified. And our tiny creative department felt gutted.
I can’t lie, none of us knew her that well. Does that matter? Cathleen loved to go out for afternoon coffee because the cafe on the corner gave her double mileage points on her credit card. I cannot remember what she liked to drink. Cathleen told me her favorite band was Arcade Fire. I never got to ask her what her favorite album was. I knew she had asked for time off in April for a little vacation, but had not asked her where she was going. The short amount of time we did spend with her seems magnified now.
Cathleen was shaping up to be a strong designer and was a team player. We are a tough crowd and she was able to go toe-to-toe with our humor. A co-worker brought in a big bag of chocolate peanut butter cups. Everyone crowded around the table and I said, “Don’t eat the dark chocolate ones.” Cathleen spun around with a very concerned look on her face, “Why not?” “Because they are MY favorite!” I said. We all burst out laughing… I will never forget how quickly her face changed from concern to outright laughter.
We were just getting to know her.
In terms of our lives, for someone who was a part of it so briefly, grief is selfish. MY loss. My co-worker. How could this happen to ME? It’s a side effect of being human. But shouldn’t it be the opposite? Their loss… the family, the boyfriend, the best friend. They are who we cry for. I don’t want to trivialize the effect it had on me. Having someone you know, no matter how briefly, die unexpectedly, is traumatic so it’s okay to make it about yourself (in your mind) to be able to process and empathize.
Cathleen and I shared a “cubby”— a little box to keep notebooks, calendars, pencils, etc. because we sat so close. I inherited the cubby. I found gummy bear wrappers, a few chocolates, a hand written cheat-sheet of a digital asset grid system, and her calendar. Her vacation in the spring was to go back to Chicago to see her parents. Finding that brought back a flood of things about her— She had two sisters, she was a Cubs fan, her dad loves his Toyota. How do I even know that?
I kept her little hand-written cheat sheet and when I pull it out to use it I think of her. I don’t scarf down dark chocolate peanut butter cups so quickly anymore, I take a moment to think about Cathleen. I never listened to Arcade Fire before, but I do now and think about what made her love them so much. And I got a double miles credit card.
It’s like Cathleen was a hummingbird who dropped into our lives for a few seconds. And when a little hummingbird drops into my life for those few seconds, I think of Cathleen.
Some things will stay with us forever…
This year we are donating $10,000 in honor of Cathleen Nilles to The Loeys-Dietz Syndrome Foundation, a resource for fostering education, research and support for families affected by LDS. With our commitment to giving back to the community, we will continue to support to this organization, for Cathleen.
Loeys-Dietz syndrome can cause aneurysms of the arteries, including the aorta, which result in weakening of the affected blood vessel. They can be fatal if not treated. Because there’s no cure for LDS, doctors focus on monitoring the development of these aneurysms, treating them medically and if necessary, surgically repairing the aneurysm.
To learn more or to donate visit www.loeysdietz.org/en/
Sorry to hear about this loss
What a wonderful thing to do in memory of my niece Casey. Thank you so much for your support.
Cathleen-Casey was one of the nicest kids I have ever meet. She could always bring a smile to everyone who knew her. I’m glad to hear that she touched your life in short period like many of us who knew her for many years.
Thank you for this beautiful tribute and for this incredible donation. We miss her so much. You captured her kind, gentle, and empathetic spirit so well. She’s a light in the world (and always will be), and it’s special to see how that’s true even for those who knew her for a short time. Thank you.
Maddy McGuire
What a beautiful and touching tribute to Cathleen – Casey. You have described her sweet yet strong spirit so well. Your donation and committment to the LDS foundation is an awesome tribute to her. Thank you for sharing your memories of your time with her.
Mary Mollenkopf – aunt
Casey was a dear friend of our family. She was my daughter’s best friend. Thank you so much for honoring her memory in this generous way. We are moved by your words and gestures inspired by Casey.
For a girl who was a best friend since we were in grammar school, this so moved me. Cannot thank you and your organization enough for what you’ve done in her name, and for all those living with LDS. Because Casey/Cathleen truly lived with it — she didn’t struggle, didn’t waver; she lived wholly and fully. This is a beautiful remembrance, and just reiterates how purely wonderful of a soul she had.
I, like all of you, wish we’d had more time with her. Stay well this season and always.
–Mallory
Oh, and to give you a few answers to lingering questions:
Favorite Arcade Fire album: Funeral
Warm drink of choice: Tea, only lightly caffeinated strains so her heart wouldn’t race. Little bit of milk, likely almond.
:)
I am very moved by your generosity. Thank you for giving Cathleen’s family and friends this wonderful gift.
We miss her and so lucky to have known her. Though short, she made a HUGE impact on all of us!
A heart-felt thank you to Juan, Lanya and all of Firewood Marketing for honoring Cathleen with this very generous donation to the Loeys-Dietz Syndrome Foundation. A special thank you to Samantha for caring enough to write such a beautiful tribute to my daughter. She was truly fortunate to work for such an outstanding company with so many caring people. Your donation and kind words give me a reason to smile in this otherwise sad holiday season missing Casey.
Happy holidays to you all and continued success in the New Year.
Lovely tribute, Sam. Her light shines on…
God bless you for your gift to LDS. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for this tribute to Cathleen. I didn’t know her, but as a fellow LDS person, her story hit home. Merry Christmas to you all.
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